Hey friends, happy Sunday and happy summer! Does summer officially start in July? It feels at least like summer here in Amsterdam, and I am not sure if it is the expat rose coloured glasses but Amsterdam is looking hot in these consistent 24 degree days.
READING // LONG FORM
I am cheating on so many reads right now. I am part way through 7 books, which even for me, is unhinged. I have been reading more books specifically for work, for author interviews or background research, so that has bumped my personal reading list to the back burner, and my work life in general has been hectic, so reading hasn’t been happening during the week. I did however devour multiple reads over a long weekend in Spain, which was a delight. There is nothing better, for me at least, than reading an entire book over twenty four whilst on holiday. Bringing it to breakfast, to the pool, keeping it open whilst sipping sangria, bliss.
My favourite read of that trip is a tie, and both are non fiction, which might be rogue for a holiday read but I think in some ways I have more headspace whilst away to consume something wholeheartedly, even if it's trickier. I will tell about the first for now, and I promise to pen a Bookish essay on the other (Spoiler, it is my internet friend Rebecca’s upcoming book on kitchens, cooking and domesticity)
I have been putting off Meena Kandasamy’s novel When I Hit You, since the day I first heard about it. The substance of the story was too close to home to consider it a fiction read. It is what we call ‘auto fiction’, although Kandasamy is clear on its fiction quality. Her interview with The Guardian here, explains the difference between auto fiction and memoir so succinctly
I will just quote her instead:
“Although “there was not a line of falsehood in that book”, it was not a memoir. “A memoir for me means a person’s life story; if I was going to write my actual life story, I would condense this entire marriage into a footnote.” By treating it as a memoir, people were overlooking the artistry: “The idea was: ‘I’m going to tell you a story about what happened to me.’ For me, the artistic enterprise is: ‘I’m going to tell you a story’, a narrative that has been shaped. It’s not therapy.”
It is a harrowing tale of an abusive marriage, of Indian left wing politics and the emotional manipulation men with power continue to hold over women.
The digital copy I read was bookended by a copy of The Wire’s review of the story by an anonymous journalist, which is almost as good as the story itself. It is a seething response to the criticism and comment Kandasamy received, particularly from Indian media and writers. Critique that only bolsters the need for the story to exist. Both the book and the articles are worth your time this summer, if you can stomach the content. (that is an awful way of putting it but I am not sure how else to say so). It is horrifying to read of abuse, particularly if you are a survivor or someone you love is, it is stomach dropping to see domestic violence on the page so if your life has been affected by it, truly I am sorry, and I won’t blame you to let this story pass you by, but I am glad I read it, and I am also glad I waited.
READING // SHORT FORM
Celibacy As Survival - Sex dominated my life for years. When it stopped, the truth behind why became impossible to suppress. Fariha Róisín is the author of a cutting new non fiction book unpicking the wellness industrial complex, and this personal essay on her own idea of wellness, has me excited to read her writing at length.
‘I always secretly wonder which of us is the real artist’: Sally Rooney in conversation with Patricia Lockwood. Perhaps it is unchic to recommend a Rooney article, particularly one published three weeks ago, but such is the curse of the monthly only newsletter. This exchange between two writers has been taking up alot of my headspace as I continue to grapple with what it is I want to put my name to, this notion of Rooney’s below, has haunted me since reading:
“As a rule I don’t like to endure anything in life that I can’t use in my work. If something happens to me in reality that feels too distressing, too ugly, or too confusing to bear any relationship with my work, then I feel that whatever I’m writing must be dishonest. Partly I suppose that’s why I wanted Alice’s career to resemble mine so closely. It has to do with a principle of honesty that’s hard for me to describe exactly. The book would have felt false and meaningless for me if I hadn’t found space inside it to accommodate that part of my life, however idiotic it was”
Perhaps I am biased, but I had the pleasure of editing Erika over at Bookish, for her feature on The Sad Girl Literary Canon. It was a lot of fun to excise this culty topic and I am sad for the parts that have been left on the cutting room floor, but it is worth a read this morning, before you get back into your Moshfegh.
BLOWING MY OWN TRUMPET //
Using this section to promote everything I have written in the month, because what is freelance life if not constant self promotion. On a work note, I feel as though I have really hit my stride with journalism in the past couple of months, reaching a consistent level of work that I am able to choose who I write for, build relationships with brilliant and thoughtful editors and remain true to my complicated disabled thoughts. So I am patting myself on the back for that one.
Truthfully, I am afraid to become a disabled mother - I wrote my first digital feature for Cosmopolitan, which was a great milestone and a brilliant editing process. I sighed with relief as soon as I saw my editor let me keep the words “Oftentimes the ‘let's pretend we should be grateful for being disabled’ narrative is the one wheeled out at the end of these kinds of articles, but truthfully, there are no silver linings to sickness.” because i can’t tell you how many times in my short career so far, have I been asked to end ‘on a positive note’. Nothing says I don’t understand disability like a request for toxic positivity.
I reviewed a couple more reads on other platforms besides mine. Leila Mottley’s Nightcrawling for GXRL and Sara Novic’s True Biz for Bookish - a favourite of the year so far.
I also started a new series on Bookish, to bring you some European summer reads, if you like me, like to read books set in the places you are visiting. First up is France, and next week, Italy!
And finally, but perhaps my favourite piece of work this month, a bookish piece for Refinery29 - Sick Girl Lit Allows Disabled Women Like Me To Tell Our Stories. This feature is the child of my two favourite things - books and disability justice.
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That is all for this month folks, catch you on another side of the internet
Hannah x
(reminder if you want to read this weekly, you can join Patreon for £2 a month / 50p a letter!)